Twilight Movie: Nominee For Best Waste Of Money On A Movie Ever

Anyone seen Twilight yet?

I was cruelly dragged by friends against my will to go and watch the 'eagerly anticipated' Twilight movie (eagerly anticipated by the Twihards or Twerds, as they're calling themselves now) starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson has leads Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, the vampire.

Having read all of the books, I find myself in a position where I can make an informed decision as to my opinion on these pieces of fiction brough into this world by Stephenie Meyer, who has been dubbed, in some instances, as the new JK Rowling. This would be another blog in itself if I wanted to start ranting about how COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY INACCURATE THIS ASSUMPTION IS - but I haven't got time to do that rant, so I'll leave it there. (SHE'S NOT JKR, SHE NEVER WILL BE)

Not being a fan of the novels (or a 'Twihard'), I decided that I would, at least, go and see the film with an open mind - if only because I wanted to SURVIVE the screening, because as my dear friend Alice discovered when she posted an against Twilight poem on the net Twilight fans are scary, and they would have killed me if I had done anything remotely anti-Cullen.

So here I was, no popcorn in hand (so unfair. Who knew popcorn cost so much?), ready to watch THE WORST FILM KNOWN TO MAN.

Whoops. Guess I just ruined the conclusion.

I mean, PLEASE. Who told Kristen The Alleged Drug Taking Stewart she could act? And Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner? LAUGHABLE. The two taking the crown for least convincing roles have to be the actresses playing Rosalie and Alice, whose portrayal of their characters was the reason by friend leant over to me and whispered, "This HAS to win best Comedy at the Oscars this year."

The film dragged on, and yet the storyline seemed rush; the dialogue was corny and cheesy; the ending was twee and yet ridiculously anti-climaxy; and worst of all, the gore of Bella's blood on the glass, her bone break, the bite and Edward 'saving' her and, worst of all, Alice SNAPPING THE NECK of James, the avenging vampire, was disgusting to watch.

So if you're into wasting your own time and money, go see Twilight. Or if you have better things to do (which I'm positive you will have) DON'T go and see Twilight anytime soon.